If you ever want to feel like Kevin McCallister in Home Alone 2 but with better skincare, fewer pigeons, and more cocktails, let me tell you about my one night at the Fairmont Hotel Vier Jahreszeiten in Hamburg. I stayed there from November 19th–20th, and this is the full, uncensored report.
Why I Ended Up Here Instead of My Original Cheap Hotel
I had an appointment in Hamburg and, being a practical human, I originally booked a modest hotel near my appointment
Enter: my husband, the Credit Card Points Wizard, who took one horrified glance at my reservation and said:
“Absolutely not. Cancel it. I’m putting you in one of the best hotels in Hamburg.”
Five minutes later, after a flurry of points, perks, and whatever secret sorcery those people do, I was suddenly booked at a hotel I would normally walk past slowly, admiring the flowers and wonder what the people who are walking out, do for a living.
First Impressions: Christmas Exploded In The Best Way
Walking up to the entrance, I was greeted by a literal red carpet, life-size reindeer whose heads actually moved, because why not, a proud German flag waving outside and enough Christmas décor to make the North Pole question its own standards.
It’s dramatic, it’s grand, and it whispers, “You cannot possibly afford me… but you’re
welcome anyway.”
The Room
After an unnecessarily majestic climb up palace-like staircases (I was committed to the bit, no elevator for me!), I reached my room and proceeded to lose a five-minute battle with the key because I am, apparently, too stupid for luxury technology.
Once inside:
Chandelier? Check. Red velvet? Everywhere. Giant bathtub? Absolutely. Bench in the shower? Who am I, royalty?
Even the small things were ridiculously thoughtful: endless makeup pads, Q-tips, fancy water where you know the bottle alone costs €6, plush slippers, and towels softer than any other my humble bum has touched.
Naturally, the first thing I did was run a bath. Look, you don’t put a giant tub in front of a tired woman and not expect her to get in immediately.
So there I was, soaking luxuriously, listening to spa-like music coming from some mysterious built-in speaker… and yes eating my homemade sandwich.
In a five-star hotel.
And honestly? No regrets.
Halfway through my egg and something masterpiece, a knock on the door. I’ll spare you the details of being booty butt naked in the tub with sandwich in hand as I tried to dry and cover myself fast enough to answer the door.
I digress…in came two hotel employees delivering a welcome gift of fresh fruit and the most delicious chocolate I’ve tasted, shaped like the actual room key. Genius.
The Bar
That evening, I met a friend at The Grill Bar, where each cocktail has a starting price of around €22, the kind of number that makes your credit card flinch. But the drinks were fantastic, the bartender knew her craft, and every sip tasted like “my husband’s points are paying for this.”
And thanks to the $100 hotel credit that came with the stay?
Every drink felt like victory.
After my very sophisticated evening of €22 cocktails, I headed back to the room to change for dinner. I expected to find exactly what I left: a mild explosion of clothes, my abandoned day-wear, and the underwear I’d fully intended to shove into a “dirty laundry” bag the moment I stopped gawking at everything around me.
Instead?
A tiny hotel fairy had swept through my room with the tenderness of a doting grandmother and the efficiency of a Navy SEAL.
There, next to the bed, was a perfectly placed miniature rug, just big enough for my feet to land on like the hotel had mapped the coordinates of my toes. My slippers were angled neatly on top.
My clothes had been picked up and respectfully arranged, including – yes – my underwear, folded with a level of precision I reserve only for filling out German paperwork and international border crossings. Mortifying? Absolutely. Impressive? Also yes.
They even refreshed the water on my nightstand and placed a tiny glass beside it, the kind of thoughtful touch that whispers: We know you will forget hydration exists after 8pm, Don’t worry, sweetheart. We’ve got you.
It was turn-down service in its most lovingly thorough form, half hospitality, half intervention. The kind that makes you want to say, “I promise I’m usually not this messy,” even though you absolutely are.
Breakfast
Breakfast at the Fairmont is included and blissfully indulget- Fresh German breads, cheeses, spreads, an entire à-la-carte menu featuring Fresh-pressed juices eggs Benedict made however your soul desires and many more international favorites done at Michelin-energy quality. This is not your average hotel breakfast buffet where the scrambled eggs look like a yellow foam puzzle. This is the good stuff.
So… Is It Worth It? (The Real Reason You’re Reading This)
Typical nightly rates at the Fairmont Hotel Vier Jahreszeiten run around €370–€400.
For a special occasion, totally worth the splurge. For a simple one-night stopover just for the hell of it, probably a bit steep unless you plan to fully soak in, every amenities-rich corner of it.
Final Thoughts
If you want to feel transported into opulence, into Christmas magic, into a world where red velvet is normal and life sized reindeers décor actually move their heads, this hotel delivers.
Use points, use perks, use your husband’s mysterious talent for hacking loyalty programs, just get yourself there once.
Because sometimes, even for one night, it’s nice to be the Kevin McCallister of Hamburg.
Leave the planning to me!
If this stay made you think, “I’d love to experience something like this, but I wouldn’t even know where to start,” that’s where I come in.
I’m a certified professional travel planner offering a modern, concierge-style approach to travel planning. I help clients choose the right hotels, plan thoughtfully paced trips, and handle the details that elevate a stay.
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